Arnold Schwarzenegger [via SocialiteLife]

Arnold Schwarzenegger [via SocialiteLife]

Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger:

You are a perfect example of why sane people shouldn't go into politics. Prior your election, you were beloved by thousands -- an idol for bodybuilders, philanderers, and weekend action heroes the world over.  Since becoming Herr Governator, however, the tide has turned. Sure, the kids still love [some of] your movies, but you've managed to piss off 70% of the most populous state in America. That can't feel good.

As we see in this shot of you with your eldest son, Patrick, the tension has obviously taken its toll: you've resorted to the comforts of your European childhood, cradled in the uterine warmth of a Porsche 911 convertible. Now don't get us wrong: returning to your roots is perfectly acceptable. We only wish you'd do the same for your hair, which is -- as we've mentioned before -- the least believable thing we've witnessed since the plot of Kindergarten Cop.

Look at yourself, Arnie: you're an Austrian driving a convertible Porsche in California, while sporting a terrible dye job/facelift combo pack. You think living that many stereotypes is going to solve your constituents' problems? C'mon schatzi, get it together.