Hear are some questions we're pondering on this peaceful Zen Tuesday:

1. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

2. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

3. What do you do with a drunken sailor?

4. Who's on first?

5. Why in the hizell would 50 Cent stash $2 million in the boot of a Lamborghini Murcielago?

Like most Zen questions, those don't have simple answers. But here goes:

1. We don't know. Try whistling.

2. Probably related to your recent purchase of Head And Shoulders: Seed Bell Scent.

3. (Not suitable for print.)

4. (Sound of gun firing at Lou Costello.)

5. Because Chelsea Handler is taking their relationship a little too fast, and Fiddy needs to lay low for a while. (Alternately: Fiddy finally realized that Chelsea's a woman, and he's heading to Palm Springs to work through his heartbreak.)

We just hope lil' 5-0 doesn't get popped by the po-po, as he's sometimes wont to do in silver Lambos. It'd be a terrible blow to the hooker industry if Fiddy's moolah went missing.

[full story at MotorAuthority]