Roughly 234 years ago, we said "smell ya later" to Great Britain. And today -- before we break into the Jack Daniels, PBR, and other appropriately American, appropriately adult beverages -- we would like to remind you why:
Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice
Once again, England has come between us and something we love.
Before us: the imposing figure of Posh Spice (née Victoria Beckham). Does anything about her look warm an comforting? She is menacing -- as pointy and angular as a redcoat's bayonet. In some, she even inspires thoughts of rebellious tea parties. Or maybe teabagging. We get confused.
Anyway, just like George III's goons, Vicky is standing directly between us and something we love -- in this case, the hot, new 2012 Land Rover Range Rover Evoque. According to our brethren at Motor Authority:
Land Rover also announced that Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) will be joining the design team, to add her flair for style and fashion to the products within Range Rover. That'll likely mean some special interior and exterior treatments for the Evoque, and possibly for the rest of the lineup as well.
Yes, "flair". Clearly, Nelson is far kinder than we. And clearly, Land Rover's overlords in another former English colony haven't learned their lesson.
As for the Evoque's "special interior", we expect nails in the floorboards, and seats that are two sizes too small. To arms, y'all.