2011 BMW 335is Coupe

2011 BMW 335is Coupe

Ashley Tisdale may be totally fine flaunting her celebutante Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen, leaving it out on the street for hours at a time, but put her in a BMW, and missy loses the fancypants right quick.

See the pic at the link below? That's her in a BMW 3-Series, being driven around by current beau, Scott Speer. We'd never say she's shy -- there's photographic evidence to the contrary -- but she's clearly not into being seen.

Maybe she's just hiding from the paps. Or maybe she's really short. Or maybe she has terrible posture, like our third grade music teacher. (Calcium tablets, Ash: THEY WORK.) But those reasons are dull and boring, and because it's Thursday, we are already dull and bored enough without A-Tis fanning the flames.

Instead, we're going to assume that Ashley is a secret operative for Mercedes-Benz, and that she is contractually prohibited from riding in any other automobile. Should she break that rule, a ruthless squad of Mercedes goons will descend on her home under cover of night, strap her to a Barcelona chair, dye her hair a rich, chestnut brown, and force her to watch the pilot episode of Fly Girls until she apologizes to Mercedes, Angela Merkel, and the people of Stuttgart. We imagine that some braunschweiger-centric torture is also involved, but we'll refrain from speculation. This is a family website.

The moral of the story: we hope Ashley has some really top-notch deadbolts and maybe a safe room. Because really, Fly Girls is a fate worse than death.