Christina Aguilera [via TMZ]

Christina Aguilera [via TMZ]

Dear Personal Assistant of Christina Aguilera (aka Xtina):

We have heard that it sucks to be you. Not "you" as in "you, the personal assistant of Christina Aguilera (aka Xtina)", but "you" as in "you, the personal assistant of any former Disney spokeschild".

We can only imagine what you must go through every day, with the mixing of countless half-caf soy latte mocha-granita-frappuccinos and the endless blending of smoothies using remnants from last night's Millions of Milkshakes pig-out. And on top of that, you have to drive those celebs around. SAFELY. With so much pressure, it's no wonder that you have the occasional accident -- you know, like the fender-bender you got into yesterday when you rear-ended someone in WeHo?

Now, we understand that minor scrapes happen to even the best drivers -- especially in car-crazy (and plain-crazy) Los Angeles. And if it makes you feel any better, we're pretty sure that yours wasn't the only rear-ending in WeHo last night. But c'mon, dude: at a bare minimum you have GOT to get your boss to buckle up. That's like job security. Range Rovers are big, but they're no plastic bubble. And while you're at it, perhaps you should consider wearing a seat belt yourself. Just for kicks.

Next time, you and Xtina might not be so lucky -- or you might just get canned. And from what we hear, the only person hiring these days is LiLo. Is that what you want? Right.