Jude Law

Jude Law

Hello, Jude Law. How nice and normal and European you look, toting the kids to tennis practice in your Audi sedan. Also nice and normal: the fact that your car appears to be an older model, possibly an A4. Of course, it's not like you're lacking the money to upgrade to this year's A4, but as your grandmother probably told you on cold winter nights, just because you have the money to do something doesn't mean you should. We all appreciate the work you've done to keep those megastar feet on the ground.

We wish we could say the same about your love life, which has been anything but stable. In fact, some folks might think that you're so busy upgrading from your older-model girlfriends that you have no time to think about upgrading your ride at all. But we're the generous sort, so we'll leave it at this: if you keep sowing your oats as you've been doing, you're going need to look into a new set of wheels. Fortunately, being in the UK, you have access to the Ford Transit Connect. It's got decent fuel economy and plenty of room for rugrats. Just a thought.

Two other small suggestions.

 1.Leave the Gulf Coast girls alone. They are extremely fertile.

2. Underwear and track suits are a great combination.

Your serve, Mr. Law.