Dear Everyone Who Attends Cars and Coffee-type events,
Stop. Just stop.
I know what you're thinking right now. Your super sweet ride is idling at the exit, and you're primed and ready to show everyone what your bad machine has got going on. You're thinking it's time to lay down some serious rubber, dial in a bit of opposite lock, and show those seven people (and your 78 Instagram followers) what it's all about.
The problem is that you're not really a great driver. Adding to the problem is that this is absolutely the wrong place to broadcast your lack of skills on the road to the world.
If you really want to try your hand at destroying your rear tires (fun), or practice going sideways (even more fun, really) then go find an empty lot without living meatbags everywhere. An even better idea is to find a school that teaches you these things, and spend the money on becoming a bit more skilled behind the wheel.
You'll thank us. The innocent bystanders will thank us. The random cars just running about their daily tasks that happen to take them by the exit of your local Cars and Coffee will thanks us.
For now though, just put the car in first gear and pull back into society like a normal human. Better yet, maybe you should start off in second.