Believe it or not, we're pretty deep around here. We have real thoughts and feelings. We marvel at the wonders of the universe. At breakfast, over doughnuts and jello shots, we pose profound questions like, "If a tree falls in the forest, will Ikea track it down?" Or, "Abe Vigoda: dead or alive?" And most importantly of all: "Do those Twilight kids still count as celebrities even when there's no premiere to attend?" For the curious, the answers to those questions are: yes, alive, and probably not. (Dakota Fanning gets a pass. For now.)

And so we're not entirely sure if Ashley Greene is newsworthy at the moment, but you have to admit, it's a little strange to see a wealthy, young Hollywood starlet in the same set of wheels she was driving six months ago. Who does she think she is, some kind of normal person? Next thing we know, someone will try to convince us that she doesn't have a monkey butler like everyone else in H'town and that she pops into Starbucks herself to pick up her daily mochafrappucinolatte half-caf with soy and one shot of non-fat hazelnut syrup. (Sorry, thighs!)

All of which is to say that Miss Greene is making it awfully hard not to like her. Could someone give her publicist a raise?