Dear Peter Facinelli:
We will not beat around the bush. We will not dilly-dally. We will not digress. We will not mince words. We will get straight to the point. We will shoot from the hip.
You, sir, have disappointed us.
In case you haven't noticed, Mr. Facinelli, you are driving a Toyota Prius in the photo linked below. And, yes, we realize that may be a little edgy right now, what with the safety recall and everything -- "Oooh, there goes Peter Facinelli! Man, that mo-fo is crazy, cruisin' in a recalled Toyota Prius. Quentin Tarantino needs to hire his ass now while he's still alive. I bet he'll make a nice corpse, though, apart from those Earth Shoes." -- but at the end of the day, it's still a Prius.
Furthermore, you are carrying an iPhone.
Okay, seriously: do you know who else drives a Prius and carries around an iPhone? We do. You know who else? EVERYBODY.
The problem? You are NOT "everybody". Dude, forget about that crappy Twilight crap and even Six Feet Under: you got to honk on Edie Falco's boob. Do you know how radical you are? Do you know how few people have gotten to do that? One: James Gandolfini. Well, and Stanley Tucci. And Dominic Fumusa. And Paul Schulze. And probably Chris Meloni. Okay, so it's not such an exclusive club. But it IS an awesome club and you are in it, and yet you are driving a Toyota Prius and gabbing on an iPhone, and it is really bumming us out.
Your game? Please be stepping it up.