Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson

Okay, honestly? We don't fully understand the appeal of Scarlett Johansson and/or Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, we get the fact that they're smokin'. But that and a handful of singles will get you a venti half-caf soy latte and a no-fat blueberry scone at any Starbucks on Melrose.

See, hot bodies come and go in Los Angeles, and according to our thoroughly scientific studies, actors have about ten years to work the sexy angle before they start looking sad and desperate, like Pamela Anderson. (Notable exception: MILFy Demi Moore, who's apparently been bathing in the blood of virgins since the wrap party for St. Elmo's Fire.)

After the hot clock runs out, actors need some serious talent if they want to remain relevant in Hollywood. Sophia Loren, Catherine Deneuve, Sean Connery, Clint Eastwood: these are among the few who made the transition from bombshell to celebrated actor. Anita Ekberg and Burt Reynolds? Not so much.

Given what we've seen, we're dubious about the future star power of this particular dynamic duo. With every passing day, Ryan Reynolds looks more like a walking trailer for Matthew McConaughey II: Not-So-Electric Boogaloo. ScarJo is a slightly better actor than her beau, and with a little work, she could maybe land in Mia Farrow territory; on the other hand, she could become Mackenzie Phillips. Or Julie Haggerty. Poor, poor Julie Haggerty.

One thing's for sure: driving a Toyota Prius isn't about to make ReyJo or JoRey or whatever we want to call them stand out from the competition. Not by a long shot. Hell, for folks of a certain age, the Prius is part of Hollywood's holy Trinity: Botox, fake-bake, and a set of green wheels. We suggest that ScarRy step up to a Ferrari on the fly, before they're eclipsed by their low-rent dopplegangers, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green.