Dwayne Johnson in FASTEREnlarge Photo
Today, we are happy to share with you Motor Authority's foolproof action movie formula! Be careful not to share it with anyone before you make millions for yourself and others.
First, pick one bald muscleguy:
A. Vin Diesel
B. Dwayne Johnson
C. Jason Statham
D. Bruce Willis
Next, pick one car of exceptional vintage:
A. Chevrolet Camaro SS
B. Ford Gran Torino
C. Pontiac GTO
D. Shelby Mustang
Then, pick one heroine/low-rent Bond Girl:
A. Jordana Brewster
B. Megan Fox
C. Maggie Grace
D. Olivia Munn
Now, pick a plot line:
A. Cop goes undercover to bring down a street gang.
B. Cop goes undercover to bring down a drug ring.
C. Former cop teams up with another former cop to bring down a drug ring.
D. Ex-con is hunted by former cops.
And finally, pick a title (if you've already done this, that's okay):
A. Mad, Bald And Dangerous To Know
C. Very, Very Fast And Mad
D. Very, Very Fast And Mad 2: The Sequel
Now go find Brian Grazer and pitch the hell out of it. If you still need help, watch this trailer for Faster. It tells you everything you need to know. (Try it with the sound off, just for fun.)