Are you sitting down? You should be sitting down. Because what we are about to tell you will. Rock. Your. World.
Megan Fox has been canned from Transformers 3: Electric Boogaloo.
OHNOES!!!1!! (Is LOLspeak still funny? Probably not, but just in case.)
Yes, Fox's agent has confirmed that the star of films like Jennifer's Body and, um, Transformers won't be making a return visit to the land of Michael Bay. Of course, the same agent also said that it was Fox's decision to bail on Transformers 3, and that she was not -- perish the thought -- fired, despite Fox's public complaints about her creepy audition for Bay or the fact that she called him "Hitler". So take it for what it's worth.
And what does this have to do with cars? Well, Transformers: ROTF may have scored terrible reviews from critics, but General Motors earned big returns on its product placement dollars. In fact, we'd wager that last summer's ubiquitous Bumblebee was largely responsible for the 2010 Chevrolet Camaro's stellar performance in showrooms. But despite all that, no one of our acquaintance actually went to see the cars, or even Shia LaBeouf: they went to see Megan Fox half-naked and running for her life.
Of course, there are plenty of buxom backup beauties waiting in the hills of Hollywood, but many of the replacements under consideration lack a certain je ne sais quoi. Mila Kunis? We've seen her with a Camaro before, but she doesn't exactly read "action movie". Blake Lively? Hot, but she looks like the kind of actress who'd squeal the first time her skin touched motor oil, which could be a lot, given the subject matter (and the director). Miley Cyrus? We're not even going to dignify that with a response.
Rest in peace, Megan Fox. When you get to Starlet Limbo, tell Kelly LeBrock we said hi.