Dear Alex Reid:
Here are some things we have learned from you:
1. Dating a superstar model/horse trainer/plastic surgery aficionado will really get you noticed. Like, a year ago, you'd have been just another half-naked British cage-fighter filling up at the pump, but today you're the half-naked boyfriend of Katie Price filling up at the pump (and we also hear you're a cage-fighter). See the difference?
2. Performing softcore sex scenes in a low-budget movie will also get you noticed. Frankly, the whole thing sounds a little like Wild Orchid to us, which would make you a little like Mickey Rourke. Learn from his mistakes.
3. Despite item #1, some people still crave attention. As in: because of your (alleged) celebrity status, the paparazzi would've probably taken your shot at the gas station even if you'd been wearing a shirt, but just to make sure, and to make the situation a little more surreal -- seriously, who changes clothes while they're pumping gas? -- you've stripped down to dress pants and loafers. Stay classy.
4. The tinted windows on a Land Rover Range Rover make an excellent mirror for checking out your six pack.