This is almost too easy: American Idol's Simon Cowell driving a Bugatti Veyron? Reality television's Queen (or King) of Mean -- a man who's built his reputation by dashing the dreams of average American boys- and girls-next-door in front of a live studio audience -- spotted behind the wheel of the world's most attention-grabbing, look-at-me car? It's so patently obvious that...well, frankly, we expected more from Simon.

If his Veyron were painted a shade of classic, over-compensational red, maybe we'd feel differently. Or if Cowell were toodling around Los Angeles in a Toyota Prius, that would be weird, but at least unexpected. As it is, a jet-black Bugatti Veyron just says "I'm rich, I'm an asshole, get out of my way" -- which, quite frankly, is all we've heard Cowell say for most of the last decade. Either he's lost his edge or he's mellowing with age. Or maybe he finally went under the knife to clear up those pesky insecurities.