Cyndi Lauper and the Chevy Volt
Cyndi Lauper is many things: a Grammy-winning vocalist, a stellar social activist, and although we don't have first-hand data to prove it, we think she'd be a fun drinking buddy. After all, that "girls just want to have fun" thing she's been milking for 25 years -- that can't just be talk.
On the other hand, there are many things Cyndi Lauper is not: a nuclear scientist, a sports news anchor, or, apparently, an auto show booth babe. If she were, we might ooh and aah about the sleek lines and quirky-electro-disco style of the Chevrolet Volt upon which she's perched. We might comment on yesterday's announcement that the Volt earns 230 miles per gallon in the city. We might mutter unspeakable things about what we're going to do to the Volt when it finally arrives in showrooms.
As it is, however, all we can do is wonder aloud: "Damn, y'all, when did Lauper get so old?"
Don't get us wrong -- Cyndi Lauper is still a fantastic performer with an amazing voice. But let's face it: this is not her best promotional shot. For one she's wearing a dress leftover from Lily Munster's bargain-basement brothel (which might also explain the bed-head). For two, she's perched higher than the paparazzi, which makes for an unflattering angle, and which she's made less flattering by shoving her chin into her clavicle. And for three, what the hell does Cyndi Lauper have to do with the Chevy Volt anyway -- apart from the fact that it might've been parked backstage during the Grammy Awards ceremony, providing a convenient rest area for someone too tired to make it to the green room?
Cyndi, please, if you're listening: stick to milking microphones. Befriend Tyra. And maybe swill some coffee now and then. Otherwise, the next thing we're going to see you straddling is a Rascal.