It's not a critic's job to convince you they're right—whenever that actually happens.
On a good day, a critic champions what's new with biting insight and relatable commentary, because rock and roll needed a cheerleader once. On other days (read: most), we're just bitter asses.
A "good" car is hard to write about because good is subjective. What we "love"—and the reasons that we love it—is far easier to write about because love doesn't need logic and can be argued ad nauseam in exchanges that end with, "... that's why no one likes you."
We're the first to pay lip service by saying that we're occasionally wrong, but we weren't wrong about loving these cars. You just hated them.
2009 Pontiac Vibe
What we said: "The 2009 Pontiac Vibe is another step forward for GM when it comes to materials and build quality."
What you said: "The 2009 Pontiac Vibe is less sexy than IBS. I'd rather have a Hummer. What's a credit default swap anyway?"
What we said: "The line dividing the two pieces of the window followed the angles of the upper door frame and windshield pillar—a design flourish usually seen on only the most exotic of supercars, often with gullwing or scissor doors."
What you said: "The line dividing the two pieces of the window makes this techno-banana's insane price more difficult to swallow. For about $10,000 less I can get a Mitsubishi Eclipse for my daughter, which is what she actually wants."
2000 Isuzu VehiCROSS
What we said: "The result of all this suspension engineering is a unique vehicle that combines a comfortable ride and stable handling with minimal body roll and excellent steering feedback."
What you said: "The result of all this black cladding and gray sheet metal is a sea lion that looks like it's wearing plastic jousting armor."
2017 Honda Ridgeline Black Edition
What we said: "The Ridgeline can't match bigger trucks for pulling and payload, but it bests every other truck regardless of size for its ride and handling."
What you said: "The Ridgeline can't match bigger trucks for TruckNutz. It bests every other truck in being a nerd. Good luck with that, Poindexter."
2017 Porsche 718 Cayman
What we said: "With the latest generation of the 911 growing larger and more comfortable—but still unarguably quick—the Cayman is, more than ever, the focused sports coupe."
What you said: "With the latest generation of the 911 growing larger and more comfortable, I'd rather spend $90,000 on a 50-year-old 912."
2005 Saab 9-2X
What we said: "Without a direct comparison available, we’d venture that the 9-2X’s setup is as unflappable as the WRX."
What you said: "Without a direct comparison available, we'd rather hold on to the $5,000 that Saab is asking over a completely identical WRX."
2000 Plymouth Prowler Woodward Edition
What we said: "Plymouth has developed a great antidote for mid-life crisis. But can the world's first 'factory-built' hot rod breathe new life into a brand that Chrysler was ready to abandon just a few years ago?"
What you said: "No."
2011 Mazda RX-8
What we said: "The 2010 Mazda RX-8 is one of the few true track-ready sports cars you can get that actually has a backseat; the RX-8 is practical, but not too much so."
What you said: "The 2010 Mazda RX-8 is one of the few true track-ready sports cars you can get without stability control that spins quicker than White House press conferences."
2014 Mazda Mazda5
What we said: "The Mazda 5 has a charming simplicity. It combines all the usefulness of a minivan with the nimble driving feel of a small hatchback."
What you said: "Combining the usefulness of a minivan with the driving feel of a small hatchback is the most boring unification since Al Gore met Joe Lieberman."
2017 Mitsubishi Mirage GT
Just kidding. We didn't like it either.