When a tractor trailer full of lunch meat goes missing—which we're going to guess has happened, in human history, at least once previously—most folks aren't going to jump to the assumption it had been traded for crack cocaine.
On that note, we'd like to introduce Arkansas trucker Larry Ron Bowen.
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In a move somewhat shy of Scarface, Bowen traded his refrigerated trailer full of the sandwich staple—and bizarrely, the tires of the rig towing it—to a pair of men in exchange for some of that sweet, ferociously addictive rock. Details of the driver's cold-cut conundrum come from the Memphis Flyer, which reports Bowen having told the arresting officers the deal was made "inadvertently." It's left unclear as to how such a deal was accomplished without the expressed consent of both parties.
One thing, however, is abundantly clear—the dealers came out on top here.
Because the contents of the trailer alone were worth approximately $50,000. And crack is not particularly expensive. So given that Bowen was arrested in a gas station parking lot while eating a sandwich—and not, say, forcibly extracted from a brothel after a crack-fueled, 36-hour standoff—we can be certain he didn't get nearly enough crack to make the deal worthwhile.
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Live and learn.
Fortunately, while the enterprising drug dealers remain at large, Bowen's efforts were rewarded with a year of—apparently, quite necessary—inpatient drug treatment, and six years probation.