This may seem obvious, but apparently it isn’t: when you shoplift a package of schnitzel by stuffing it down the front of your pants, then rob the same grocery store you’ve pilfered from, be sure to remove the smuggled schnitzel before jumping into your getaway car.
This is particularly important when you’ve got a blood alcohol content of 0.14, since your evading-the-police skills probably aren’t at their sharpest. As The Examiner (via Nothing To Do With Arbroath) reports, Christopher Sullivan learned this lesson the hard way, after struggling with the schnitzel during his escape attempt.
Sullivan lost control of his car while trying to reposition the breaded meat, leading to a rollover accident and his subsequent arrest. His defense lawyer attributed the crash to the schnitzel, saying “the items... concealed in his pants... interfered with his control of the vehicle.” Readjusting the patties, not his elevated blood alcohol level, were the real cause of the accident according to Sullivan's attorney.
Sullivan skipped bail after his arrest in the 2010 incident, but was recently caught after two years on the run. A judge jailed him for nine months and suspended his driver’s license for nine months after release.
Image credit: flickr user WordRidden, licensed under CC 2.0