Tuner Gallardo begs its owner, 'why?!'

Tuner Gallardo begs its owner, 'why?!'

Tuners of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your taste! That seems to be rallying cry of a large segment of those of us that, in one way or another, center our lives around cars. Here's a list of ways to know if you're one of them. We hope you're not, but we understand, and forgive you, if you are. Say hi to The Fonz for us.


1) Your car has more exposed carbon than paint, yet it's never seen a track.

(Mansory Chopster pictured).

2) Your car was customized by Mansory.

See above. Or here. Or here. Or here.


OK, the Mansory bashing is over. Time to vent our frustrations on one (other) unfortunately wealthy soul. It's rare that one car embodies so many aspects of what's wrong with tuner culture, but here we have a perfect storm: a Lamborghini Gallardo of unknown provenance, rightfully and powerfully mocked at Teamspeed.

3) Your car is now slower, heavier, and (to most eyes but your own) uglier than the car you started with.

All that stick-on chrome-ish stuff (and those wheels...) adds up.

4) Your car has applique hood scoops, fender vents, eyebrows, chrome or gold trim, or any outward association with Pep Boys, Autozone, O'Reilly's, or Advance Auto.

Really? Stick-on fender (and side) vents on a Gallardo? Really?!?

5) No one notices your vanity plate because they're too distracted by the Supra wing, hideous over-use of mesh bling, under-lighting, and Fast/Furious vinyl.

Wing: check. Mesh: check. Under-lighting and vinyl? Probably on next week's to-do list.

6) Your car embodies (and you frequently say things like): "slizzamed," "hellaflush," "stanced," "murdered out," or "yo!"

We can't imagine it being any other way.

7) Your wheels are ridonkulous, even if not donker-sized.

If they're too garish for a Caprice on stilts, they don't belong on your Lambo, even if they do "fit."