If your definition of success involves owning all the Top-Gear-branded merchandise you can find, be prepared to part with $269.95. That’s how much it will cost you to add the new TomTom GO LIVE Top Gear edition navigation system, featuring route guidance by Jeremy Clarkson, to your collection.

While we’re fans of the show, getting directions (and verbal abuse) from Jezza on a regular basis is what we’d call “sub-optimum.” Luckily for our delicate sensibilities, there’s also a “Stig mode,” which features narration by the show’s tamed and mute racing driver. In other words, the Stig mode is silent.

The special edition TomTom GO LIVE also comes with Top Gear themed start up and shut down screens, and includes pre-loaded Top Gear points of interest, such as race tracks used on the series. We’re not sure this feature will prove helpful to U.S. buyers, and we’d advise against attempting to drive to the Top Gear Test Track in Surrey, England, even if you have built your own floating Toyota pickup in homage to Clarkson.

Novelty aside, the TomTom GO LIVE includes a one year subscription to HD Traffic services to steer you away from traffic jams in real time, while providing detailed incident reports and accurate routing times. There’s also a “Speed Cameras” function, which identifies locations where speed cameras are in use (again, more helpful for drivers across the pond).

There’s TomTom Weather to give you a five-day forecast and a Bluetooth hands-free phone interface as well. If you haven’t switched to a smartphone and don’t have a navigation system in your car, the TomTom GO LIVE is a good choice of nav systems; whether or not the $20 premium for the Top Gear edition is worth it is up to you.

You can hear Clarkson's navigation skills in the brief audio clip below. Want more information? You’ll find it on the TomTom website