Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

Take a good, long look at this photograph. Go ahead, we'll wait.

Okay, now pretend you've received a blow to the head and awoken in a field, and you can't remember a damn thing. A quick scan of your surroundings turns up nothing to indicate where or when you are -- nothing except this photo. What do you assume?

On the one hand, Mariah Carey is looking awfully young here, and she's rocking an 80s perm the likes of which hasn't been seen since SJP's Forgettable Years. Also, there's something about that Contempo Casuals minidress, her husband's boutonniere, and her friend's silky, MC Hammer-ish shirt (not to mention the CD in his hand) that evokes the years of Ronald Reagan, Debbie Gibson, and Spuds McKenzie. Understandably, you're rocked by an overwhelming wave of nausea.

On the other hand, Mariah's friend's chunky glasses are unmistakably 2009 (or actually 2005). And that Mercedes-Benz SL55 is entirely now.

So maybe you're living in a past that's full of bad hair and dreadful music, but seriously awesome rides. Or maybe you're living in the present, with all its questionable fashion choices, CDs (still), and similarly awesome rides. Either way, Mariah continues to walk the earth. We'd go back to bed if we were you.