Dwayne Johnson in Faster
You have no idea how much we love the holidays. Not because of the mini-vacation, or the change in weather, or the turducken -- though those are nice, of course -- but because of the dazzling array of movies on view. From Thanksgiving through New Year's Eve, at cineplexes across America, studios around the globe release their biggest and brightest Oscar contenders.
And then there's Faster.
Faster is clearly not out to win any awards. Awards generally go to subtle, nuanced movies wherein a heroine wearing a prosthesis -- false nose, false teeth -- undergoes a life-changing transformation somewhere in Tuscany. But Faster is a guy movie, and according to Hollywood, guys don't want nuance, they want, as Jeremy Clarkson would say, POWER.
And so, as we can see from this trailer for the film, the screenwriters haven't even bothered to writen an original script, they've just borrowed lines from other movies -- lines like the crowdpleasing "I've been expecting you!" Because really, what's the point of having characters talk when everyone's just waiting to see Dwayne Johnson get stabby in a men's room?
That said, the trailer does give us a fleeting glimpse of DJ's Chevrolet Camaro SS. That's gotta count for something. And as predictable as Faster might be, it's probably still miles ahead of the crap set to drop after the holidays.