Oh, Anne Hathaway: why do you look so sad? Why so skeptical? You're a respected actor. You've cruised through an unpleasant breakup and come out smelling like a rose. You're renowned for your beauty, inside and out. (Although outwardly, we wish you ate more sandwiches.) Basically, you have an oyster-shaped world shucked and spreadeagled at your feet. Grab the horseradish and start slurping.

But maybe we're misreading this photo. Maybe you're not racked with ennui. Maybe you're concerned about that ride you're straddling, which looks suspiciously like a janky Honda Metropolitan (or its Geely equivalent) that's been scuffed up and stripped of every identifiable marking. Or maybe you're just weary of this whole Valentine's Day movie thing, which seems awfully tween-centric if you ask us. Or maybe -- and this is what we really hope -- you've developed a passionate dislike for Julia Roberts' niece, Emma, and are secretly envying her vintage VW bug ride. If that's the case, dude, we can totally relate.