Here's proof that Robert Pattinson has successfully made the transition from English football lad to Hollywood wreck-in-progress:
He's got a Porsche Boxster. Exactly what James Dean would drive if he weren't already dead (in a Porsche Spyder!) and also, 78 years old this year.
He's got chops. He played Salvador Dali in Little Ashes, which is not a Judd Apatow kind of role, right?
He's a snake. The chalkboard shows at least one co-star to his credit (Twilight's Kristen Stewart). Bonus points for putting the on-set romance front and center before the sequels and/or inevitable breakup at Les Deux.
He's R-Pattz. Someone's given him a "street" nickname, or he gave it to himself. Maybe it was Eminem. Who keeps up with him nowadays, anyway?
He refuses to tame his eyebrows.
Alas, here's evidence to the contrary:
He's a wizard. Yep, Pattinson is Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter. You know...Twilight for the Dora the Explorer set.
He's a tween dream. He just won a Teen Choice award, for Buddha's sake. That smells more like Sweet Honesty than teen spirit.
He's down with cross-dressing. IMDB quotes him thusly: "Up until I was 12 my sisters used to dress me up as a girl and introduce me as 'Claudia'! Twelve was a turning point as I moved to a mixed school and then I became cool and discovered hair gel."
He kissed a boy. And he liked it. Then again, so did James Dean.
His next project is called Bel Ami. We're sure it's this one, and not the other one.