BMW Completely Gives Up, Accepts Ugly As Its Only Design Motif

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If you don’t like the way most modern BMWs look, you might find yourself in something of a persecuted minority—depending on the crowd. But after the 2015 BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage, you’ll always win the argument, forever.

That’s right, the 3.0 CSL Hommage retroactively erases any beauty any BMW ever had. At any point in history. Or it damned well feels like it, anyway.

They can’t even spell “homage” ferpetessake.

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So what is going on here? We could break it all down and explain the ugly in techno-Teutonic terms, but that would be completely disingenuous.

It would also be incredibly hard on our digestive systems, which are having trouble remaining intact when looking at these photos for more than 3-4 seconds at a stretch.

2015 BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage

2015 BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage

Enlarge Photo

BMW, you do a lot of stuff well, but design, at least for the last, oh, 12 years or so, hasn’t been one of them. This pile of neurasthenic puke should have been wadded up and tossed into the nearest bin. Then the bin should have been lit on fire. Then the ashes should have been packed into a cannon and shot into space.

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Except that might have started an interstellar war. So really, this 3.0 CSL Hommage thing should just never have existed at all.

And it most certainly should not be wearing anything E9 or 3.0 CSL-related.

A travesty. A betrayal. An utter failure.

BMW: The Ultimate Ugly Machine.

2015 BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage

2015 BMW 3.0 CSL Hommage

Enlarge Photo
 
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