There are plenty of reasons not to buy a Porsche Cayenne. For one, it boasts mediocre performance credentials and styling that could put coke fiends to sleep. For reasons two and three, we remind you of Spencer and Heidi.

Rose McGowan presents reasons four, five, and six in this video clip, wherein she exits Dan Tana's restaurant surrounded by paparazzi and hops into a black Cayenne, only to discover -- wah-wah -- that it isn't hers:

What Rose seems to be saying, in her own special way, is that buying a Cayenne sets you up for:

  • Confusion, because you won't be able to tell it apart from the 37 other Cayennes in the Whole Foods parking lot.
  • More confusion from all the flashbulbs, and a possible seizure if you're prone to such things, like Kate Reid was in The Andromeda Strain.
  • Severe pain, because Rose McGowan or a lesser equivalent may hop in and park herself on your lap. Some folks might enjoy that, but it sounds kind of bony to us. (Not in the good way.)

[SocialiteLife, YouTube]