Hello, Cristiano Ronaldo. We hear through the grapevine that you're finally in the market for another super(douche)car. We're glad to see that you took a little time off to think things over after that unpleasantness involving a Ferrari and high speeds and "Oh, my God it's on fire, someone protect my face, my beautiful face."

Anyway, we understand that you've settled on a Lamborghini Gallardo. That's fine, we suppose. A little expected, a little obvious, a little snoretastic, but whatever: you're the 24-year-old multimillionaire soccer star. You don't need us to tell you what's fashionable.

Or maybe you do. Just so you know, we offer consulting services at very competitive rates. Keep it in mind.

[X17online]