2009 Jaguar XF - Review

What's going on here? These headlights just don't fit.

Enlarge PhotoWhy am I so passionate about the awful headlights? Because the rest of the car, with a few exceptions, is brilliant.

This car is my first “super sedan”. My first luxury cars were a 1982, a 1987, and a 1990 Mercedes Benz. Back then everything was wallowing, heavy, carved from lead, and slow enough to be left for dead.

Not this car. A 420hp supercharged V8 makes sure that the punk in the Mustang GT next to won’t know what hit him. I know, I’m that punk. The Mustang is quicker off the line, but once the blower goes into full force around 20mph, the Jaguar leaps past the smaller, less powerful Ford. The rear tires are a massive 285/30ZR20, which puts that power down with authority. In turns, however, without a limited slip differential, it simply winds up spinning one of the expensive unidirectional Pirelli P-Zeros into a bald donut. I was surprised that a car of this might was not able to push its back end around, since an LSD is now standard on so many less expensive performance cars.

The front tires are smaller, at 235/35ZR20, and it shows. This car prefers understeer, which is the safe choice compared to end-swapping oversteer, but combining that trait with the inability to adjust the tail with the throttle (I’m sure it can be done with a ton of room and speed, but safety is paramount) and the car doesn’t inspire the confidence in real world twisty driving that the massive tires and wheels would suggest.

What is very surprising, and totally Jaguar, is the car’s ability to provide a smooth and luxurious ride even with those steamroller tires on Los Angeles’ notoriously lumpy freeways.

Flawless describes the transmission, which has six gears and can change them extremely fast. Using the paddles in sport mode the engine matches the revs on each downshift and holds the gear even if you push the car towards its redline. Those paddles, however, have a downside. At least 4 or 5 times a day I would inadvertently touch one while making a tight turn and be left in a gear that didn’t work for the speed I needed. If I were designing the system, the paddles would only work when the gear selector wheel was put into S for sport mode.

Gear selector wheel? Oh yes, and oh no. All Jaguars have quirks and this is no exception.

The inside of this car has so many wonderful things about it, I’ll create a list: the perforated leather seats, which blow hot or cold air into your clothes with enough vigor to make your unborn children shiver. The heated steering wheel, which warms up so quickly and with such power that you can’t imagine another car without it.

The infinitely adjustable seats, the two side airbags, both torso and head curtain. The A/C system, which is both easy to control and understand, and very powerful. The stereo, with its 14 speakers and 400+ watts, that sounds great with either Bach or Bon Jovi. The nav system, the Bluetooth, the steering wheel controls, the windows, the sunroof, the rear shade visor, the list goes on and on. All of these things work perfectly, as they should on a $70,000 car.

But there are other things here, that while they work, and are interesting, leave me asking “huh?”