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2009 Jaguar XF Photo

2009 Jaguar XF - Review

 

C’mon guys, admit it. We’ve all done it, haven’t we? You come up behind this person, perfect body, gorgeous hair, nice clothes. Until you look her in the face and realize it’s a him.

Ok, so maybe this happens more here in California than elsewhere, but the effect is one of shock and awe, a distrust of your own instincts for a while.

On this planet, perhaps the most stunning backside short of Angelina belongs to the Aston Martin. I say the brand name, because to me they all pretty much look alike, but one has to admit, those curvaceous hind lights are beautiful.

The XF's attractive rear quarters

The XF's attractive rear quarters

Enlarge Photo
I used to think that Hyundai and Kia were the kings of copy, but the Jaguar XF sets a new standard where the back end is concerned. The split taillights are almost identically lifted from the Aston, which isn’t a bad thing, it looks amazing.

The front end, however, is another matter.

The headlights have been lifted from a Subaru or a Hyundai from a decade ago, and this is where the styling of this amazing car falls down harder than a drag queen in six-inch heels.

Does anyone remember the E-class from 1997 onward? They tried to emulate the old double round headlights of the 60’s cars, and only wound up alienating anyone that wasn’t old enough to remember those. I don’t know what the BMW Bangle-butts were trying to emulate, but those cars cost BMW a lot of sales as well.

If this car didn’t have the look of someone as surprised as a man discovering Angelina was really Andrew, it would be one of the most beautiful creations in the car world.

That said, everyone will have to make their own decision regarding the front. The grille is beautiful, spot on Jaguar, as is the hood, finely detailed and magnificent to look at, but oh, those lights. If I bought this car I would have a body shop lop off the top of the lights and bend the hood down, I really would.

What's going on here? These headlights just don't fit.

 
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Comments (20)
  1. I told you it would it be a good car (major bias on my part). Although you failed to mention that you most likely used all of this cars technology without having to open up the owners manual. Something you can't even remotely attempt with its Barvarian counterparts....

    Love the tranny in heels joke!!!!
     
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  2. Hey Gus! Great to see you're back.

    Great review, as good as the Tesla one. I definitely agree with you on the headlights. They do seem a bit out of place. The lights that were used on the XF concept would've been a lot more fitting.

    I also agree about the 'tech for tech sake' argument you made, but with that said, its still very nice to see Jaguar trying something new for a change rather then recycling last century's technology just for the sake of being on the safe side.

    If I personally was in the market for such a car, this would definitely be near the top of my list. Not sure if it would be higher then the 5 Series, but it beats the E-Class easily - at-least the old one, my mind still isn't made up about the new model.

    Again as I said, great review. Looking forward to more!
     
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  3. Gus on furthther thought- I forwarded your review onto some people in the know.

    The logic behind the gear knob was to give the car an animated effect or when you step into the car you are waking it up. Also inregards to tech for tech sake, lets face it if Jaguar did not put it in the car the press would clearly state "Here's another dinosaur from Jaguar"!

    Yes they are last to the party on tech but lets not beat them up for it. Rather lets greet them with praise for at least its tech even the ham fisted can use...
     
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  4. True, and thanks for the comments!
    Maybe three buttons, P, R and D, where P also sets the parking brake. That's all you really need, right? Maybe a special button somewhere to put it in neutral (like a button marked "vehicle towing" under the dash somewhere), but who really needs neutral these days on a fancy automatic? But yes, like I said, it was very cool to watch, just how long will it last? Maybe forever, but how does that line from Murphy go?...

    As far as the lights, here is a Photoshop of how I think they should look:

    http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh67/chybagus/3627.jpg

    Looks like a luxury Evo, doesn't it? I think they look cool like this, and would make this car the best looking in it's segment, by far...
     
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  5. As far as the lights, here is a Photoshop of how I think they should look:

    http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh67/chybagus/3627.jpg

    Looks like a luxury Evo, doesn't it? I think they look cool like this, and would make this car the best looking in it's segment, by far...

    While you're at it, lets add 20" rims w/ spinners, a huge spoiler and some more bling all around :D

     
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  6. HOLLIIIIIEEEEE ITS GUS!

    my oh my.. am i ever glad i happened to catch this article considering how little time i spend here these days.

    gus, as always, we see eye to eye. but ink put it best.. jag is doing a cadillac right now.. try to scare off the old farts with patches on their tweed jackets. and toys really are the only way to get younger people into a car of this money. it sounds cheap but some one my age really will say "for 70 grand i want air vents that are hidden by a powered door,.. and YES i want that cool nob that lifts up out of the dash" i know its a jag, and its a shame to say it, but im sure a majority of people buying this car really dont give a damn if the toys break. they expect them not to, but even if they do.. it will be 7 or 8 years from now and theyll just use it as justification to get the 2016 XF :p

    but yes.. the STUPID head lamps are a huge mistake. this car was supposed to be more aggressive. and yes if i had 70 grand to buy it, id go down to the local body shop and have them do some patch work for another grand or two.

    as always, MA is presenting good reading, while being potentially insulting but who the hell cares. its less subjective than top gear and in many ways, just as funny.

    I WANT MORE GUS REVIEWS!!!

    and SID,.. if you ever want some cold weather reviews.. you know how to get a hold of me!
     
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  7. Ink, that's classic. I have a brother-in law that would actually dig that... :)

    Thanks, Chris, I had fun writing it...
     
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  8. my oh my.. am i ever glad i happened to catch this article considering how little time i spend here these days.

    *cough*come by more often then* ;)

    "I WANT MORE GUS REVIEWS!!!"

    A little birdie told me there will in fact be more, very soon... :)
     
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  9. Ink, that's classic. I have a brother-in law that would actually dig that... :)

    Thanks, Chris, I had fun writing it...

    I wouldn't mind it either as long as its not too over-whored and over-blinged with no taste at all... :)
     
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  10. yeah i would but things are kind of busy in the real world for me right around now. im too preoccupied designing cars to read about them :p

    ok thats a bit of a stretch... im too busy designing hybrid drive trains.

    but yes i certainly look forward to more gus reviews. i hadnt read more than two paragraphs of this review before i said "wait a minute.. i know this person... is.... is this... no.. it couldnt be"
     
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  11. Alas, it is.
    Now, if I could only get my own car show... :)
    Chris, you could join me. We'd have to have Hector on as well yelling about red blinkers...
     
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  12. Alas, it is.
    Now, if I could only get my own car show... :)
    Chris, you could join me. We'd have to have Hector on as well yelling about red blinkers...

    And thus the beginning of 'MotorGear". The brand new motoring show starting this fall exclusively on BBC America!
     
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  13. I never understood Hector's issue with red blinkers!!!
     
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  14. Hector is VERY adamant that having blinkers which are not yellow is cheap and cheesy. He has declared that there is a definite link between companies that do this and the quality of their vehicles, as it is a sign they skimped, and thus are likely to skimp elsewhere. Both my Mustang and the Lamborghini Murcielago fall into this category. Many, if not most new cars I see are doing this. Maybe it's a cost cutting measure, but I'm thinking it might be an issue with people getting confused seing more than one color from the rear of the vehicle, I'm not sure.
    It's like my obsession with folding hardtops. I hate that they take up all the trunk space, meaning you cannot carry luggage AND have the top down at the same time (see 335i for the most glaring example).
    We just all have our quirks here...:)
     
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  15. ahhh, mine would be those who bash Jagaurs. Although the reason they still use a soft top is because of people like yourself and the expense of develolping a hard top convertible.

    Thanks for clearing that up.

    P.S. I believe Lamborghini produces the best quality product ever in their companies history, no?
     
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  16. Hector is VERY adamant that having blinkers which are not yellow is cheap and cheesy. He has declared that there is a definite link between companies that do this and the quality of their vehicles, as it is a sign they skimped, and thus are likely to skimp elsewhere. Both my Mustang and the Lamborghini Murcielago fall into this category. Many, if not most new cars I see are doing this. Maybe it's a cost cutting measure, but I'm thinking it might be an issue with people getting confused seing more than one color from the rear of the vehicle, I'm not sure.

    Ah! Well... I agree with him. I prefer yellow/orange blinkers to red ones. All red just looks... boring to me... Plus yellow is alot more visible then red.
     
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  17. i dont like the way this car looks maybe if you paint it a navy blue it would look better
     
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  18. I'm a sucker for dark, cherry metallic reds.
    My favorite is the dark, metallic "merlot" color they have on Toyota/Lexus products...
    But that siad, the paint quality on this Jag was 100%.
     
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  19. I'm a sucker for dark, cherry metallic reds.
    My favorite is the dark, metallic "merlot" color they have on Toyota/Lexus products...
    But that said, the paint quality on this Jag was 100%.
     
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  20. How do you open the fuel door on the 2009 Jaguar XF?
     
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