Adam Carolla Takes On Top Gear USA. We Have Some Suggestions.

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Adam Carolla in Toyota GP gear

Adam Carolla in Toyota GP gear

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Look, we know that Top Gear USA just launched, and we know that sometimes it takes a few episodes for a show to get warmed up (e.g. Mad Men, Nurse Jackie, Facts of Life). But as much as we (pretend to) hate jumping to conclusions, in this case, there's only one we can reach: Top Gear USA is terrible. And that's why we're happy to hear that comedian and car nut Adam Carolla is heading an as-yet-unnamed show on SPIKE to take on Top Gear USA.

Adam, if you're reading this, we have a couple of friendly suggestions. We know that you're probably giddy with glee to see the "official" Top Gear USA in the tanks -- especially after producers canned you for a much lower-rent Adam (i.e. Ferrara). But unless you pay attention to Top Gear USA's many, many mistakes, you could end up at the same FAIL Party:

1. Lose the wooden dialogue. We know TV shows have to be scripted, just like we know the original Top Gear is scripted, but you're in California. Surely there's an acting coach (or three) lying around.

2. Find some better stunts -- and enjoy them. The pranks that Clarkson, Hammond, and May carry out can be pretty hokey, but at least they don't let audiences know that they're in on the joke. They buy into it, just like Lucille Ball when she snarfed up all those chocolates on the assembly line. Just pretend it's for real.

3. Aim a little higher. Please, don't treat the audience as if they've never seen a stick shift before. Everyone may not understand all of the technical details of the cars you're covering, but they'll catch up.

4. For jeebus' sake, have a little fun. Ferrara, Foust, and Wood seem like they're being forced to do the show at gunpoint. Try not to look like that.

5. Hurry.


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Comments (4)
  1. I agree with Richard Read -- TGUSA is pretty bad. I've seen two out of the first four episodes and consider those two hours a total waste of my time. I'd rather watch the original Top Gear episodes from 4 or 5 years ago than new episodes of TGUSA.

  2. Great points, especially number 5. But don't worry, knowing Adam he will definitely be fast off the cuff freestylin as always.

  3. All these points are right on. Get rid of the guy with the beard and I think the other two might make it work.

  4. As a huge Carolla fan here is a little history of what happened ... Adam did the original pilot for NBC but it didn't get picked up because the morons there were afraid to add a car show to their schedule after the horrendous results from the new Knight Rider. Then when History Channel decided to pick it up Adam was already committed to another pilot for NBC and thus was replaced by the unfunny Adam. Carolla was made for this role, just too bad the timing didn't work out. It would be pretty funny if Spike named his new show "5th Gear" ... that's the Top Gear UK competitor show that's actually pretty good. The only thing is that Clarkson and company on the UK show set the bar so high that it would be difficult for anyone to try and come up with a show anywhere near as entertaining. That said, I'll put my money down on Carolla, he's comedy gold!!

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