Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney

As we understand it, Andy Rooney is still alive. We haven't personally verified those shocking allegations, but like certain terrorist masterminds we could mention, Rooney appears on TV at regular intervals, and he references enough current events to make us think he's still breathing.

Andy Rooney used to be funny and entertaining. (Again: we're going on hearsay.) However, over the past decade or nine, he's become a parody of himself and every crotchety old person to grace screens big and small.

Frankly, we think Rooney enjoys being the Granny Clampett of the 60 Minutes set -- in fact, we have reason to believe he works hard to maintain that carefully crafted stereotype while the cameras are rolling. Given his recent rant about in-car technology, we think we're onto something. Check this clip. We'll wait.

(We'd be happy to embed it, if only the friendly folks at CBS could figure out how not to botch the code.)

See what we mean? "Lost"? "Bottle of milk"? The jokes write themselves -- and Rooney knows it. He may be as old as he looks, but surely he ain't as dumb.  

[Minyanville via Eric]