Progress Is Killing The Sweet Stench Of Autopia

By Michael Larner

Michael Larner

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Few things are better than the plethora of aromas that fill your home when there are a few too many cooks busily working in the kitchen. But, there is one other scent that calls to me: the sweet stench of exhaust fumes from an older car. Car lovers everywhere know exactly what I’m talking about: that beautiful odor beckons to us from the tailpipes of our favorite classic. But where did this love come from? Where did we learn to appreciate this penetrating scent. After visiting Disneyland in Anaheim, California last week, I have developed a theory: we learned to appreciate the stench of carbon emissions while riding Autopia during our childhood. 

The Tomorrowland ride is one of the few attractions that has been around since the park first opened in 1955. And although it has gone through a couple of revamps in the last 55 years, one fact has yet to change: those little convertibles still run on gasoline. Get anywhere within a hundred paces of the Autopia “pit lanes” and the smell all but overwhelms you.

Try to remember your first visit to the Magic Kingdom. A lot may have changed since you first visited the happiest place on earth, but some essentials have remained the same: in addition to being hopped up on candy and churros, you were giddy with excitement over having hugged Mickey Mouse and getting your picture taken with Goofy. Wearing your brand new Mickey ears of course. And then, as you were waiting in line to get behind the wheel of one of the Corvette look-alikes, you were overcome by the exhaust from those dream-machines; forever linking the scent of gasoline with the sheer joy you felt during your day at Disneyland. And if there were still any doubt regarding this pairing, some fool decided to let you drive the convertible around the track at a blistering six and a half miles an hour--lightning quick compared to the toddler’s pace that you were used to as a child. As you cruised around the track with the wind blowing through your soft hair, the car jolting back and forth along the guide track, and your shrill giggles piercing the air, another car lover was being born.    

Fast forward to the present and let’s revisit Disneyland’s Autopia. Tomorrowland’s longest standing ride uses precisely zero futuristic technology to power their vehicles. No hybrids. No fuel cells. No electric vehicles. Just good old gasoline--after all, the ride is sponsored by Chevron. And this lack of progress at Disneyland makes me sad. Although the automotive world is finally waking up to the fact that we need and want greener vehicles, this means that one of the few remaining places that I can get my fill of automotive fumes is at Disneyland’s Tomorrowland. And pretty soon, the Disney higher-ups are going to realize that it’s time to replace the “gas-guzzlers” with Chevrolet Volt and Tesla Model S look-alikes leaving me to sit in the garage with my friends sniffing a 1974 Bricklin SV-1, a 1968 Mustang Shelby GT-350, and a hot-rod Model T. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to being able to do all of my errands with flowers growing in my wake and animals singing songs of praise to me, as promised by Toyota’s Prius commercials. And I’m also looking forward to the Porsche 918 and 911 GT3 R Hybrid becoming “mainstream” vehicles, but I’m afraid of the day when my kids will never know how glorious a V-8 Ferrari smells. Or smelled. Not even if they visit Disneyland.