Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione Review - Thank You God...

By Johnny Smith

Johnny Smith

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1,369 views Aug 18, 2009

Last night the apprentice was on, which of course meant that I was intentionally spending an hour of my life with Donald Trump. This I am sure, would please The Donald, as he is the producer, executive producer, assistant producer, assistant to the executive producer, and owner of the company that produces the producers executive class produce for The Apprentice. There were many intriguing situations during the show, but none more so than when a picture came across the screen that contained only a hallway being occupied by Mr. Trump and his new wife.

Melania Knaus-Trump is Donalds wife and while Donald looks like, well lets put it this way. If Donald did not own 74.925% of New York City he would be married to someone who makes Roseanne feel beautiful. Melania on the other hand is a perfect example of why I always encouraged my parents to entertain the possibility of a Slovenian exchange student staying in our home while they studied to become a doctor of medicine and physics and yoga, whichever three doctorates take the longest to obtain, or have to be practiced at home.

The question for The Donald had to come down to one thing, is the beauty worth the pain? As is true for any male who still possesses anything resembling a reproductive organ, their answer is yes. She may require more maintenance than a vintage Range Rover but at the end of the day, you could stop and revel in the fact that you are the only guy (at least that you know of) that gets to claim her as you own. That is until she finds someone that is nearly as wealthy and looks better than Ozzies liver.

Italian cars have presented us with this same paradox for years, regardless if your means require that the situation be hypothetical. Is it good looking enough to be worth the trouble? Cars are all about passion. If this were not true we would all drive a certified pre-owned Civic with an in-line 4 and a color that strongly resembles a Saharan landscape. Fortunately for us some car makers, especially the Italians, have passion in spades, even if engineering is around number 4 on their top 3 most important things to do well when building a car. For example, during the 80s Ferrari decided that it wasnt necessary to put the clock in the same place on the dash of each 328 GTS that decided that it wanted to be built that day. Did that matter? Of course not. If I were to drive up to anyone besides Al Gore and offer then the keys to a Prius or the Ferrari I would be left with the Toyota "not quiet as economical as a diesel" Prius all day long.

Alfa has put us in just such a situation with the new 8C Competizione. Alfa Romeo is a company that won the first Formula 1 Championship. It gave Enzo Ferrari his first job in the industry. It created cars so beautiful that some early examples that look as though they were stored in Hiroshima during the mid 40s, will now sell at auction for a price that could also get you most of the land in Norway.

Since Mussolini, yes that one, stopped having his government run Alfa, they have been building mostly front wheel drive cars for police squads and anyone who has a personality on par with the excitement gleaned from watching a movie at the theatre with the projector bulb burned out. Recently, although the designs have gotten better and the DNA has become more evident, the brand still did not represent the wonderful monster it used to be. All that changed in 2004 with the unveiling of the 8C. Is this a car so beautiful, so delicately crafted in its every detail, that it would make the torture of it never wanting to start, or shift, or force out cold air in response to the snow flake button being pressed, worth the price of ownership? The answer is we may never have to find out. You see, this Alfa has a heart from a Ferrari, fine tuning by the hand of Maserati, and electronics from gigantor parent company Fiat. That means that it looks like Sophia Loren, acts like the sweet girl next door, has the vocals of Mariah, and cooks like Martha, every day!!!

The cabin is just as splendid as the body panels, and has a bespoke feel right down to the Schedoni luggage that will have porters throwing hay-makers for the opportunity to assist you. It is a wonderfully balanced machine, and contradicting of its Competizione (Competition) label, will convince even the most jaded enthusiast that it is a hugely capable GT that can take on Aston Martin, let alone BMW and Porsche. Not that it wouldnt have any fun on the track. The braking is extremely capable, the steering feel is excellent, and thanks to its compact proportions, exceedingly easy to place and throw around your favorite ribbon of no-limits tarmac.

You, like most people will now conclude that the price, which is four times as much as you will ever pay for anything, is worth it. And that is exactly what Alfa Romeo wants you to feel. Unfortunately, each of these pieces of art are sold, with no more to be made, save the possibility of a spyder, but you know Paris Hilton will have one and that will take all the fun out of it. That leaves you with waiting for Alfa to come to the U.S. which they are planning on doing relatively soon. Is the 8C a sign of things to come from Alfa for its newly found American consumers? Hopefully for the sake of all involved there is a bit of Alfa Romeo's glory days finding its way into each of their future offerings. Beauty with reliability? Lets hope that from now on, that is the Italian way.